The Mad House
by Out of Options
Summary: Poor Arthur - the Russian orgy was a bit of a trial for him. Let's see if we can help him have a bit more fun. Shameless one-shot smutfic. I wish I could say that the Peaky Blinders are mine but they really, really aren't.


Tommy Shelby was a worried man. He was about to take his brothers into an absolute mad house. One wrong step and that was everything fucked. He cast his eyes up the pathway to the house. It was lined with soldiers who looked like rough bastards. In the distance he could see Tatiana Petrovna. Impassively he turned to his brothers and gave them a final pep talk.

'Right lads just remember what I told you on the way over 'ere. These Russians are all fuckin' insane. They're pissed on stuff we've never even heard of and they're worse than the Romani for spirits and ghosts. If we upset them in any way then they will kick off and we are seriously outnumbered so I'm going to need you to keep a grip on yourselves.' He fixed them both with a firm stare. 'No talking back, no fighting, and definitely no stealing other men's whores. Today, they're going to put us to the test.'

'Fuck 'em', John responded grinding a tooth pick between his teeth. He managed to give the impression that he was swaggering even whilst standing almost motionless.

Yes, thought Tommy, it might very well come to that. He nodded to his brothers. 'Follow me boys, and keep yer minds on the thousands of reasons we have for bein' 'ere.'

Arthur cracked his knuckles. 'The Russians all turned and ran', he said dismissively.

'The Cossacks didn't fuckin' run, Arthur.' Tommy replied calmly so as not to excite the soldiers watching them. 'You know that.'

The princess swept down the path towards them. She was wearing an elegant and intricately beaded dress and more diamonds than the boys had ever seen in one place; she looked like a work of art. Holding the fringed silk wrap lightly around her lithe body with one hand she reached out to give her other hand to Tommy.

'Mr Shelby, welcome to our current home. It's a little meaner than we are used to but it serves for now.' Tommy nodded neutrally aware that both his brothers were looking on and thinking what a lucky bastard he was. 'How are you enjoying my car?' she added.

He quirked his lip. 'I think I fuckin' love it.'

Tatiana smiled back. 'I feel the same about yours. So, perhaps we should keep what we love, yes?

'I can live with that', Tommy responded with a slight nod.

'Please excuse the reception committee', the Princess added off-handedly waving towards the armed men. 'Whenever we open the treasury, for whatever reason, the Cossacks must be always on guard. We have lost so much already – we cannot stand to lose any more without cause.' She turned abruptly and began to lead the Shelbys towards the house.

The Cossacks glared distrustfully at the three men as they passed. Arthur scowled back at each and every one of them and when he came level with their leader, he spat dismissively on the floor at his feet. Tommy sighed and narrowed his eyes at Arthur's behaviour - this really did not bode well.

Tatiana escorted the three brothers through the entrance hall and along a short corridor to a small study. More heavily armed Cossacks lined the way. In the distance they could hear the sounds of a riotous party taking place.

Waiting in the room for them was the Grand Duchess, haughty and cold in grey silk, accompanied by a neatly dressed maid. They were clearly ready to begin the testing immediately. Tommy took a deep breath. This was going to be tricky. He knew it had been a risk to bring the lads here without letting them know what was going to happen next but if he had told them they might have balked altogether and then they would have been screwed.

Truth be told Tommy wasn't all that worried about John's reaction. He'd always been a cocky little bugger who never shied away from giving the ladies a little treat. No, it was Arthur that concerned him. He'd always been volatile, even before the war. Since he'd married Linda he'd calmed down a fair bit but he'd also picked up some of her god-bothering ways and in the present situation that could turn out to be an issue. All he could do was hope that he would do what he was told like a good little soldier.

'In Russia', he said calmly lighting up a cigarette. 'Men on the other side of the law get tattoos done.' Arthur and John nodded cautiously they had a few tattoos of their own. 'Now, some of these tattoos are proof of allegiance to certain groups which have sworn to do harm to members of the Royal household. It's therefore become customary in exalted circles like these to check for tattoos before a man is engaged for the purposes of business.' Arthur and John exchanged a wary glance. 'Now as we approach the allotted day, the ladies of the house would like to be reassured that you're not assassins or infiltrators or anything like that.'

'No, no' said Arthur hurriedly holding his hand up palms out. 'We're all good - promise.'

Ignoring him, Tommy said. 'They're going to need to check your skin. Now.'

John smiled uncertainly. 'They want to check our skin?'

'Yeah', Tommy said coolly. 'For worrying tattoos. Now my skin has already been thoroughly checked - although, at the time, I didn't quite know the reason for it.' He paused, biting gently on his lower lip as he remembered his night with the Princess. 'Now it's your turn. Come on, lads. Take your kit off and let the ladies have their peace of mind.'

John laughed nervously. 'Yer jokin'?' Tommy shook his head slowly.

Scowling Arthur said. 'Oh no, no, no, no, no!' He headed briskly towards the door only to be stopped by grim presence of Grand Duchess Izabella.

'Obey', she said simply, not dreaming for a second that anyone might refuse her. It stopped him in his tracks,

John sniggered. 'Good boy Arthur – obey!'

'No, I won't be obeying nobody,' he responded angrily. 'I'm bloody out of 'ere.'

Tommy put an arm around his older brother's shoulders and pulled him in close. Then he whispered to him in Shelta. 'I told you they're all bloody mad. We can't avoid this so just let the ladies have their fun. Eh! Eh?'

John, grinning broadly, tipped his cap towards the ladies and started stripping off his clothes. 'Come on, Arthur. Let's show 'em what we're made of!'

'Shut it, John', said Arthur tightly as he went to stand next to him.

The maid stepped forward to help Arthur remove his coat, folding it neatly before returning for his waistcoat. John, by contrast was already down to his long-johns. He was still grinning broadly totally confident of the impression that he was making. The two Russian women exchanged a haughty look and then turned to Arthur impatiently.

The maid helped Arthur remove his braces then stepped back as, angry and humiliated, Arthur ripped open his shirt tearing off half of the buttons.

'I will have the maid gather the buttons and sew them back on when we are finished.' the Grand Duchess said mildly.

Arthur felt the cool sure hands of the maid slide up under his undershirt bunching the material up as they moved. She raised her eyes to his and gave him a small sympathetic smile. Then the soft material was lifted over his head and discarded. A moment later his trousers were round his ankles.

Tommy was cracking up inside but he schooled himself to keep his expression cool and neutral. If Arthur had the first clue how hard Tommy was having to fight not to laugh then he'd fuckin' lose it. To distract himself he made a show of drawing on his cigarette and then tipping off the ash.

John had no such concerns. He was stood there arrogantly, tackle out, as if daring the ladies to come a little closer. When he saw Arthur's stony face and tight jaw out of the corner of his eye he began snickering derisively.

Stung by John's laughter and the maid's unwanted sympathy Arthur came to a decision. If this was going to happen, it was going to happen on his terms.

'Right then. Fuck it', he said, dropping his long-johns. 'There you go, ladies - made in fucking Birmingham!' Arthur stood as straight and proud as he would once have done on the parade ground looking firmly into the middle distance. There was a long pause.

Biting back a smile, Tommy eventually said. 'I think we've seen enough now, eh, ladies. Jesus, Arthur – your face. You look like a nun in a knocking shop!'

'Sometimes particularly wicked men hide their allegiances behind their balls,' said Tatiana softly. 'Kavetka – take a look and tell us what you see.'

To Arthur's horror the pretty little maid knelt before him and gently cupped his balls, manipulating them softly to check the delicate flesh for marks. Shit he was getting hard. He closed his eyes firmly and tried to get his cock under control. Linda was going to have his balls if she ever found out about this!

'There is nothing, Princess', Kavetka said tonelessly.

'Now check under the foreskin', said the Grand Duchess. 'It does not do to be careless.'

The maid took Arthur's now rock hard cock in her hand and firmly stoked back the hood. Arthur couldn't prevent a low hiss of pleasure escaping his lips. Nor could he resist a quick look down. Christ she was sexy, kneeling there like she was about to take him in her mouth. He felt a little of his seed ooze out. He shifted uncomfortably aware that he was being punished for attempting to disobey and wondering where this would go now. He was going to fucking kill Tommy for this!

'There is nothing', Kavetka said again. She looked up enquiringly at her mistress. The Grand Duchess nodded and with a gentle flick of her tongue the maid licked the small drop of cum from the head of Arthur's penis. He jumped as if he'd been electrocuted. Looking down he could see a little drop of white fluid held on the maid's pink tongue for a moment before she retracted it.

'Fuck me', said John open mouthed.

'You pass the test, soldier, very good.' Tatiana said with a smirk. The maid made way for her mistress and soon the Princess had her hands on Arthur's erection instead. Arthur was very close to losing his rag altogether – he gritted his teeth.

Tatiana turned back to Tommy, her hand rhythmically stroking the length of Arthur's cock. 'Your brother wants very much to be a good man. But inside every man, there is a devil looking to escape - look how hard it fights to be free.' Rigid with tension Arthur prayed that she would stop before he lost what was left of his self-control.

The Grand Duchess clapped her hands, bored, making everyone jump. 'It is traditional to mark the completion of a successful examination with vodka and music. We will meet you next door.' Without another word she swept from the room, Tatiana and the maid following in her wake.

'Holy fuck, Tommy', Arthur growled once the door closed. 'What in the hell was that? You ever do that to me again and I'll fuckin' cut you. And as for you, you little gobsite', he cuffed John round the back of the head. 'You'd better stop laughin' at me or you'll be pissin' blood for a month.' He stopped awkwardly. 'God knows what I'm goin' to tell Linda!'

At that both Tommy and John fell about laughing. When the three of them were feeling more composed Tommy gave them their final instructions.

'You've done well so far boys. Now get your kit on, go out there, and make contacts. And remember - play nice!'

* * *

An hour later Arthur had to admit that he was seriously struggling to 'play nice'. Ever since he'd met Linda he'd tried to mend his ways, to be a better, more peaceful man. And she would definitely have 'views' if she thought that he'd been consorting with whores! This place was seriously testing his resolve though. He'd had a raging hard-on ever since he'd had to strip for the Russian bints and he couldn't even drink it away because everywhere he looked there was another pair of tits or a nice round arse being thrust in his direction. To top it off some horny Russian bloke had just tried to touch him up. He could feel himself getting more and more wound up. Something would give soon and if he wasn't careful he was going to ruin everything by pounding someone into a bloody pulp.

'Vodka!' he bellowed. 'Get me some more fucking vodka'. He looked around desperately and then suddenly there she was - pretty little Kavetka with her wicked tongue.

'I sewed your buttons back on', she said softly. 'I wanted to check whether you thought I did a good job.'

'Yeah, you did', he said roughly although truth be told stitching clearly wasn't her talents lay - she hadn't even sewed them all on! 'You did a very good job.'

'No. I didn't.' With a wicked little grin she straddled him. Opening her mouth slightly she showed him that she had one of his shirt buttons balanced on the tip of her tongue. It reminded him of earlier when she had been knelt infront of him with a little drop of his seed resting there. By the look in her eyes it was clear that that was exactly what she had intended.

Pushed beyond endurance Arthur growled. 'Oh fer fuck's sake!'

* * *

A few minutes later he had the little tart bent forward over a desk in the study down the hall and he was in her balls deep. Christ the relief of it! But whereas Christ might forgive him for falling into the occasion of sin he was pretty sure Linda wouldn't. Bollocks to it – he was only human and better a shag than a murder! Without breaking his rhythm he pulled off his wedding ring and shoved it into his waistcoat pocket. That felt a little better.

Having been on the boil for what felt like half a lifetime it didn't take long for the girl to tip him over the edge. She gave a few token moans and then clenched her inner muscles around him. A few more thrusts and he was spent - no question that she knew her business. After he came he collapsed down on her resting his forehead in the nape of her neck, breath coming in deep gasps. Arthur loved his wife but supressing his natural inclinations was hard work. He hadn't felt this good – this normal - in months.

Eventually the pounding of his heart began to ease and he slipped out of her. She turned to face him with a blank look on her face already mentally preparing for her next encounter. She began to smooth down her skirts preparing to leave but Arthur put out his hand to stop her.

'Don't rush off love', he said with a roguish look in his eye. 'Do you know the saying 'one good turn deserves another'?' She looked at him impassively for a moment then shook her head. With a short laugh he lifted her up and settled her down on the edge of the desk. 'It means I don't like to leave a lady hanging'.

He cleaned her up roughly with his handkerchief first - he'd never really learnt to like the taste of his own seed - grinning as she wriggled against his hand. Then he knelt down between her legs and set his mind to giving her something to really moan about.

Kavetka was at once surprised and enchanted. It had been a long time since anyone had cared enough to try to give her an orgasm – mostly they just used her and then went on their way. She certainly hadn't expected that this angry, coiled spring of a man would be the one to take the time to see that she felt pleasure. He knew what he was doing too with his hot mouth and talented tongue – and that rough moustache of his was sending little pin pricks of desire into her tender flesh. Part of her had feared that she was too numb and too badly used to feel pleasure anymore but he was happily proving her wrong and when the orgasm finally overtook her she nearly cried with the relief of it.

When it was over and they were ready to re-join the party she lent over and kissed him lightly on the mouth. He tasted deliciously of their mingled fluids. Arthur swaggered from the room grinning from ear to ear and feeling more himself than he had in a long time; she watched him go with a small smile of her own. In another time and another place she might have hoped to see him again but here and now she was simply glad that he was going to get of this mad house alive. One of them needed to.


End file.
